4.30.2010

rising & falling.


please believe me, this is perfect. this is infinite.

the wave is well & we are well on it. i am sorry for your loss, i applaud your gain. compassion follows suit & makes all well.
smoothly we must sail, rising with confidence, and falling with grace, like a sawyer-twig adjusting to the river level.
we must not howl for fear. resistance is friction, thus we become scrambled. i beseech you noisemaker, whisper.
hold on lightly & ride it tightly, like a cowboy.



first, there was only darkness.

and then, there was light.

in all space & all time.

cyclical processing.

reoccurring waves.

rising-falling

yin-yang.

infin-

ity.

~

+ -

pulse.

up-down.

frequency.

syncopations.

heart-beating.

amplitude.

none-all.

alive-dead.

valley-crest.

success-failures.

nothing-everything.

wave pattern repeating.

dont-stop-believing.

just keep breathing.

rising-falling.

black-white.

good-evil.

lose-win.

on-off.

0-1

.

4.25.2010

are we going?




Rosencrantz: he said we can go. cross my heart.

Guildenstern: i like to know where i am. even if i don't know where i am, i like to know that. if we go there's no knowing.

Rosencrantz: no knowing what?

Guildenstern: if we'll ever come back.

Rosencrantz: we don't want to come back.

Guildenstern: that may very well be true, but do we want to go?

Rosencrantz: we'll be free.

Guildenstern: i don't know. it's the same sky.

Rosencrantz: we've come this far. and besides, anything could happen yet.

(they go)

- 'rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead'
by tom stoppard.

4.20.2010

iv.twenty

pluck memory from the brain
release it gently to the wind

4.19.2010

The Dripping Probes of Contribution Destined for Your Moistened Hulls

If I looked at it too long,
Every piece is immobile.
In constant pursuit of perpetual
Arranging so many symbol
If I was old, I might be bitter
Might be old, might be better
I might spend long hours repairing clocks
But I grow old, these clocks are locks
Their fingers, gold,
Soft minutes stroking hoping metal parts
So I’ll avoid them, I’ll avoid them,
Because the feel is growing wants to be let in.
Now red is rising staining daylight times,
And wheels are flowers on his blushing field
If I looked too long,
Future perches, and every piece is puzzled,
Rusted tangles start to bloom.
I could wish to translate the unimagined
For what it not seems I said
Is Fall over,
Is Spring through
Is it true the sky was bled?
Is still bleeding? To solve our hungry bleating,
To make sure that we were fed.

But now the Sun’s horizon drowned
And in his place hot towers stand,
To bolster concrete pedestals,
Our kingdom in his palm machine.
All hail! The Emperor of Steam!
Behold and Hail the King of Steam!
Reclining in his comforts,
Tangled warm machines.
_________________________________

There was a man with large sunglasses
Wrapped around his face, his hair white,
He portly, squat, wearing
Green suspenders, green pants
Camouflaged
In a grassy treeside overgrowth
Squatting, smoking a small cigarette
Who surprised me suddenly
When I was walking in the
Pasture the other day.
He stepped forward I had not
Thought anyone else was
Around he said “Hello”
And started speaking –
“Today’s the day, my friend.” he said to me,
“The day when clouds and men and seeds and gods,
Together, in their leisure meet.”
He stopped to let a smoky whisker out,
“Today, my friend,” he said to me,
“will be the day,
when finally the ground goes free and lets go underneath,
when grazing beasts will tickle tree trunk pillars,
and they’ll tilt a nested crown to look down from above.”

“Are you Lonely?” I asked.
He paused.
And so upon the meadow as the day grew tall
We ate snipetts of my picnic cheese,
And drank water, staring at
The cows or sheep
And the trees that looked like pillars

‘Til finally the end drew near and dusk was hanging in its place,
The waning time when grazing creatures contemplate the years.
Loudly first then louder still,
We heard the music of the spheres.
The highest boughs of trees were waving
First, then branches lower down,
Until the giants fill with sound,
Then rustling swallowed up the verdant ground,
Then laughing swallowed up my friend and me.
The waves took up the mountains,
Then the sky ate up the sea.

Why, you ask, do I tell you of this distant memory?
It is because after the openness
Within the moment where the Heaven met the Ocean,
That is the first thing I thought of
After you asked if I was lonely.
___________________________________

Only so much suspended moisture,
And only so many lifting minerals,
Only so many old landscapes
Only so few temporal homes-
Space is collapsing!
Flags of possibility in the crumbling Earth,
Ripples underfoot, splashing winds-
There are so many ways to destroy
And so many cracks to breathe
In, the empty spaces growing
Overhead inside of courtyard mountains,
Hiding, gaining quiet strength.

Treading lightly still vibrates slightly underground
And with everything refracting it can be hard
To make it clear, to see it brightly
To know when they get near,
So calmly listen for their singing, be quiet,
You might hear the strings of space
Dividing into islands
Of floating moisture and upward rising
Archipelagoes of dust.
Fixate through focus fields
Into spreading final beauty-
Inky absolution finds wetness
In the water, this hard stone desert
Feels the child who feels her-
Passing on is the grandfather’s God,
Wearing out is without, about-
Dipping our naked skin upon the
Morning never felt so clean!



all by Naidrawderf and Seert

4.14.2010

Take me Home!

the revving sounds of peppy songs dances through springtime blue skies; I replay and replay, so excited to recieve suntime feedback on repeat all through these future warmday seasons, some rhythms that sing for my mind into a forever remembered report of that summer that long ago time when that song was the favorite in our radios and in our lives...

4.06.2010

The Explanatory Course (Meditations within Objective Correlative)

Mindless drafts of breeze pass over a blank rocky precipice, and two curious boys hiking with their family run excitedly to the edge and peer over. They see so far down and they contemplate their doom. Abruptly, the children’s parents call out, reprimanding them for their foolhardiness, and the boys reel backwards in a natural sudden impulse. The younger of the two boys trips over a rock and falls awkwardly to the side. A long moment enters the minds of the hikers—two parents; two boys—as the Younger boy hangs suspended within space.

The flushed consciousness of the Younger boy in the air is suddenly uplifted. As his body is thrust back upon gravity, he sees the sky; he sees crepuscular silhouettes of sunlight condensation. Mother and Father feel a deep impulse from within them; they engage the distance perceived between the vast abyss and the boy in the air. The Older boy, Younger boy’s brother, finds himself stripped of his previous excitement, and nestled within the sweet glories of ferocious confusion.

The Younger boy hits the earth hard, but only with half his body; he finds himself dangling suddenly over windy nothingness, his head still to the sky. He discovers that though he’s landed part of his body, he is still falling, and in the discovery, a new fear grips his heart. His vision dilates, inviting hosts of angels horning sweet trumpets from above the passing clouds, clear into greater consciousness anomalies. The same fear, like an electric pulse, grips the Older boy, Mother, and Father. The mental frame within the family circle is by the immediate instance of the absolutely unpredictable, suddenly malcontorted beyond navigable understanding. They release with abundance their control over nouns, discovering the signifiers directing the importance of ‘things’ as nothing more than undulating illusory marionettes within the prominent urgency of Life and Death. The predicated judgment on spiritual peristalsis, or, to be more specific, the annunciation of the canonical proclamation, the ‘profound significance’ impulse of the analytical mind, is with an immediate flourishing sweep suddenly rushed out of consciousness. All stand within that moment miraculously unsure of their suchness. Rushes of instinct hold them tightly to the vast current between the ins and outs of their now-unseen manifestations. Taken, what remains is the drastic state of all relationship, which plies itself to the following action:

Stomach muscles clench Older boy runs Father and Mother run a small body dives and a small hand reaches out to grab a small leg, slipping off the sandy ground but the downward momentum is too strong—muscles grip ferociously to the calves and Younger boy’s head continues falling, hair whipping away from the face, head leading into a downward arc, releasing the boy’s body from its grounding—Younger boy falls further—Mother and Father make an identical yelp—Father leaps, Mother dives, Older boy falls with his momentum and it hits his understanding that now he is going over too—he does not let go of the leg—he feels his chest then his hips then his legs slipping away then a jolt reaches him with a stop and one hand is on his left leg—Father’s—then soon after, another hand is on his right leg—Mother’s—the parents brace themselves by holding onto protruding rocks; the rock Mother is holding breaks off, she slips, then catches herself again by grabbing another rock.

Everyone looks down the boys are suspended in air the Younger boy’s life held tight within the tiny hands of his brother. “What!” the Father yells, his face red and blotchy, his hair loosed—his voice sounds like a train horn. “What!” He says again without thinking. Wind blows up their faces and though it blows, it is silent.

4.01.2010

Introduction to plot

Mindspaces create places for punctuation, and the harried keys typing through the understanding of events are always searching for some sort of pretense—stuff repeated, stuff deleted… In scenes we see, it is exactly the striving for sense that kneads away the stuff that is truly needed. Awakening, awareness, all-knowledge, all—flash crackle ions between directional sense—wherever the words fall, I look for the lightning pattern call, but the flimsy scenic shapes I’ve strucktured—some smartly arranged, some stuck together without taste—are a formidable foe for the fear of waste. ‘What now?’ the shapes of the scene seem to say. If the mystery of truth is released unmandated, if the dominant plot lines of pregnant possibility no longer seem necessary, for whatever has happened will happen and has come to be, and what really is rests without these words imaginary, then ‘Where to?’ I start the first page for the structure of a scene, but it is too quick to realize the truth of what I want to mean (which is nothing) so I have nothing left for story! So sent screaming, splashing, sparring, with the final words of “What!” wild beast, wind mystery sound through esophagus, grasping out for inevitability, my characters dangle on precipitous possibility—